We are ready.... we have "The List" of books; complete with call numbers....we have the stroller for the baby... E is hanging onto the side of the stroller.... all of the rest of the children are lined up behind us in formation....We are ready!
However, due to unforeseen circumstances, the library isles are ALMOST too small to fit the stroller through.. and by too small, I mean that the stroller will fit fine, until you meet an oversize book sticking out of a bottom shelf, and then it will stop dead. That's okay... we have "THE LIST", we are in formation....we are ready! Now E is trailing behind in line as well, because the aisles are too narrow for her to have her little hand on the stroller. We are browsing.. We are picking out the right books... We have lost brother G. We look around for brother G, and notice he now has a reference librarian in tow, and they are looking for books on Hamsters ("I asked her really politely, mom, how to find Hamster Books!!!") Unfortunately, she cannot find any books on hamsters, because they were all on "THE LIST" and are now in the bottom of the stroller. The frustrated librarian walks away, Grant rejoins the group, we look at "THE LIST" and notice that we have several additions to the bottom of the stroller, because E has put 2 and 2 together, and realized that what you do in the library is pick books at random from the shelf and place them in the bottom of the stroller ("I helping Mommy! Say Good Emma!!") Carrie casually lays "The art of Bread Baking", and "Do You Want a Puppy?" on an empty shelf, and continues her mission.
S and the cousin have begged permission to browse the children's section, G is installed at a table to browse over the prized hamster books, E is hanging onto the cart, and we are IN LINE. S and the cousin return with every Magic Tree House book they haven't read yet, plus a whole shelf of Garfield.... and we look over and give G the "SHUSH" look because he is now reading hamster facts out loud for the library's general edification "DID YOU KNOW THAT HAMSTERS CAN HAVE BABIES?!!!!!".
The two men in line behind me look horrified at our pile of books, and general amount of people, and so I graciously allow them to go first, and check out their small selection of books (they thank us profusely)... and now... we are CHECKING OUT... with THE LIST complete. However, the librarian scans the first book.. makes the "UH-OH" face, and gestures for the senior librarian. After much discussion, it is decided that I have accidentally returned a computer game case with no disk in it (Yes I know... I got the message that morning in my email). Upon reflection, they decided I cannot check out any books that day, until I return the disk. I would be happy to return, the disk... I have the disk... but the case has been returned to another library.... and that is where I am supposed to return the disk.. not here in this town. They agree with my assessment (a quick look behind me shows that the line has now grown to EIGHT PEOPLE behind me).. and we once again have to shoot G(and now S and cousin) who are now marveling together loudly about how much food a hamster can stuff in its cheeks) the SHUSH look, as they are sharing this information with people around them, because it is just SOOO COOOL!
Okay.... where were we? Oh yes... we are CHECKING OUT... and baby K (poor, patient baby K who is strapped into the stroller) is now complaining. The librarian scans the books..... and makes the "UH-OH" face once again. Apparently we have too many books checked out. How can this be? We returned all of them when we walked into the library...... but, of course, they haven't been checked in yet, and so we have too many on our account. The librarian nervously glances over my shoulder... so I do as well, and now there are FIFTEEN people in line behind me (who are being helped, one by one, by the oldest, most decrepit librarian I have ever seen.. the poor woman was overwhelmed!) She grabs the books from the check-in bin, and starts checking them in one by one (our books are of course on the bottom, because we got to the library right as it opened).
Okay.... we are CHECKING OUT... we have completed THE LIST.... the librarian stops in mid-scan... and says (I kid you not).... "What was your last name again?" I tell her... she looks horrified at the computer.. and we both realize that she has just checked out 50 books to some other random patron by accident..........(You can't make this stuff up.....) We both turn and throw a horrified look at the growing line behind me, at the ring of avidly reading little children around my cart (who have now moved onto bugs of the amazon, and are REALLY grossing out the mom behind me). We get out all of the carefully packed books I have just checked out... re-check them back in... re-check them back out (baby K is in full-voice now... I might add, and E is singing "GO TO SLEEEEEEPY LITTTLE BABY!! at a very non-sleeping volume)
BUT... the books are CHECKED OUT.. THE LIST is completed... we are all back in the car..... when a chorus of little voices comes over the backseat.... "CAN WE GO TO MCDONALDS AND PLAY ON THE TOYS?"
See you at the library next week.........
